How I break women's heart

There are a lot of men who email me asking how I break women’s heart.

I tell them, I tried--without success.

I do not really know what these women really like about me. I am clumsy, I bite my nails when I get scared, I do not know how to cross the streets of manila, I do not know how to use the fork when paired with a knife; I am unemployed, naturally, I do not pay our meals, etc.

In fact, please forgive me, I nag at them without reason just to drive them away.

Pathetically, even my nag sounds like music to their ears. Instead of getting angry, they become sweeter and more physical; would kneel and beg for forgiveness and understanding for creating the “spark” that caused the “explosion” of my emotions.

Am also human “born to make mistakes”, as the song goes. Who am I to deprive them of the forgiveness and understanding they seek when I too ask for the same from the One who has plenty of them?Besides, they have actually no fault after all.

I am not proud of what I do. I do them however for a purpose. And that purpose is to break their hearts so that they would leave me alone.

But I am without success. I have tried almost everything from dating without taking a bath, to wearing different kinds of shoes with every foot, to name a few.

But I am without success.

In my quest to break women’s hearts, it is mine which is broken as a result.

So, to my dear readers who ask me how I break women’s hearts, I tell you for the last time. I do not break their hearts. They break mine.

And to the women, I hate to say these here but I can’t say it in your face because I do not want to see you hurt. Please, stay away from me.

Do not visit me and do not call me. Please, do not even text me.

How an Experiment was shuttered because Einstein DID take a bath

Do you know that an experiment Einstein once had failed because he did take a bath?

Einstein’s assistant was directing the ray of light to another end when Einstein entered the lab.

They were trying to measure the speed of light.

When Einstein entered, the experiment was about to finish.

But Einstein entered and the aroma of the soap Einstein used filled the nose of the assistant.

The assistant was shocked! He knew Einstein did not take a bath. He taught he saw a ghost in the form of his boss Einstein.

Frightened, the assistant shivered, otherwise he could not move.

Einstein, from behind, noticed the reaction of his assistant. He took three steps forward and asked: “Is there something wrong?”

Of course, he knew there was something wrong. He was a genius.

Hearing Einstein’s voice, the assistant was more scared than ever. He expected a voice of a ghost, not Einstein’s.

Because he was more scared that ever, he jerked to the right to look at the ghost. He forgot he was holding an instrument. It smashed against another instrument. The experiment was shattered.

Einstein, however, was not angry at the assistant.

He was a genius. He knew he was the cause.

He did take a bath.