Hateful kiss

One of the many things I do not like in this life is a wet kiss. I love to kiss and be kissed. Kissing per se is my favorite. I just hate a wet kiss.

One of the many reasons I do not like a wet kiss is the result it causes to my once clean and clear face. Women I know, women I do not know, i.e., those I meet in the streets, I ride with in trains with their boyfriend, in malls, in theaters…

To be honest, many times I felt like I wanted to commit suicide. I asked myself: "am I owned by the public? Do not have I the right to live a normal life?" For sure, I do not look like a statue of a saint because, for one, I move. Second, according to my mother, I am more handsome than they are. People kiss and adulate only statues. Why make me an exception--I move?!

Based on that ground alone, women should stay away from me. Surprisingly, those same qualities draw them nearer.

Let it be clear that I only complain about wet kisses. I do not mind besobeso.

I have resigned to my fate as the most kissable. Even the persons close to me, my cousins and friends, who should have a healthy contempt for me, could not help it.

But, by being close to me, I give the the privilege. (Talk about nepotism). I simply do not complain. But I do complain about them kissing wet the picture I gave them.

You see, a picture is easily destroyed by liquid. Is not saliva a liquid? I have to have my pictures taken almost every week so I have something to distribute like alms to my loved ones who beg them from me.

Cousin: "JP, give me another of your picture. The one you gave me is erased."

Me: "Why erased, ate?"

Cousin: "I keep on kissing it, it got destroyed by liquid."

Me: "God great, ate. How many times have you asked for my picture?"

Cousin: "JP, please, do not get angry. Just can’t help but kiss you when I see your face."

Me: "God be great, ate. I am sure you are aware that you are not the only cousin who ask pictures from me."

Cousin: "JP, here. Take this one thousand pesos. Go have a picture taken for me--please?"

Me: "Ate, it is not about money. It is about me going every week to the studio. I have done almost all the poses and the photographers are fast becoming allergic to me, ate."

Cousin: "JP, please…"

With a sweet and charming cousin like her, who could ever refuse?